I’m not excited at all about having this foot surgery. The only thing I’m remotely happy about is the fact that I’m probably going to get some really good sleep. For those of you who don’t know, I love sleep. I could sleep all day if I had the time. In fact, I love drug-induced sleep. You know the kind where you take some type of medicine that makes you drowsy and you don’t wake up the slightest little noise. Oh, I love that sleep. That’s the greatest for me because I’m a really light sleeper. I hear the newspaper guy throw the paper every morning at 5 a.m., unless I’m having a drug-induced sleep. I’ll get plenty of that after my surgery.
Other than that, I’m not really digging this blue boot for 5 weeks. It’s so ugly and big. I have got to come up with something else. I asked Nurse Ellen if it comes in other colors, but she looked at me like I was crazy. Nurse Ellen and I have built a wonderful relationship these past couple of months. After we got past the day she got snippy with me because she thought I wasn’t taking the surgery seriously. We built inroads when she realized who I was (the daughter of two of her other patients they’ve done surgery on. Now we’ve got a pretty good friendship going. I call her once every couple of days to ask her questions and see how she is doing. She does the same for me.
Now I just need some good pick up lines. Earlier today I was thinking and I could really use this whole foot thing to my advantage.
“Oh, I’m in so much pain Mr. Hottie.” I’d say. “Can you pick me up and take me anywhere you want.” (Preferably with your shirt off.)
My co-worker said she’d try to help me think of some good lines. See, there could be a good side in all of this…
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