I can’t believe its already April. Time flies! I feel like I’ve been going a million miles an hour for the past two months, but truth be told, I wouldn’t want it any other way. So here’s the run down:
Weddings… Who isn’t getting married? Me (and thank goodness!). I think 2008 is the year of weddings – four to be exact. There’s always something wedding related going on. While I am so happy for all of my friends and family making that huge commitment, could they have not spread these things out? You would think all of this wedding stuff would make me want to get married someday, but oddly enough its kind of doing the opposite. It makes me want to get married even less. I guess I just see marriage a bit differently than most. I think of it as nothing but a contract. Afterall, don’t you make your undying commitment to that loved one before you get married to him/her? Let’s hope, lol. I guess the thing I’d be excited about is the party…and what a party it is! I think I’ll just have a party and skip the whole vows thing. It makes things so much easier – you don’t have to worry about merging anything.
Health… But then again who needs a husband when you have a wonderful best friend who’s willing to take care of you even when you are one less foot. I have to have foot surgery on both of my feet (but I can only do one at a time.) Long story short, this has been a problem all my life, its just progressed to the point where I’m in pain. So doctor has to cut some bones, take some out and anything else to make my feet the best in the world (after all, if I have to have surgery, I better go all the way and have the perfect toes ever). Bad news: I won’t be able to drive for 5 weeks (for the right foot, which has to be done first)! And I’ll have to wear that ugly boot. All of this totally means death to my social life! I am so not having my dad be my chauffer and take me to the club. Eww! Meanwhile, my best friend offers to put me in a wheel chair and hook me up to the back of his car, lol. I think I’ll just hire my brother to chauffer me around. After all, he’ll be 21 in two weeks – slightly cooler than taking dad to the club.
School… 16 days to go and it can’t come fast enough. This group project is killing me. I’ve always known that I work better alone, but this whole project just confirms it. My group decided to do everything together. So we have met everyday this week and have plans to meet for the rest of this week after work. (eeek!) I get so much more done by myself. It’s not just the fact that there are five people doing this. I guess I’m just realizing I run 3 times faster than the rest of society. Seriously, I’m 26, clock is ticking…I’ve got so much more left to do.
4.06.2008
between italy and now...
I just realized, but sometime in between the time I left for Italy and now I actually feel normal again. Well, not exactly “normal,” but a better normal. I know that might sound weird, but for almost two years I hadn’t felt right. I didn’t feel like myself at all. I wasn’t having fun when I went out. It’s hard to explain, but it’s almost like I was trapped in this bubble. I felt like I wasn’t me. And somehow in between Italy and now that went away.
I know all of this probably makes no sense, but I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m happy. Not to say I wasn’t happy before. It’s a different kind of happy. I feel like I’m in control again.
I know all of this probably makes no sense, but I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m happy. Not to say I wasn’t happy before. It’s a different kind of happy. I feel like I’m in control again.
3.27.2008
i'm back...
I’m back from Rome. Sorry I haven’t updated this in a while. I’ve been very busy, so I’m going to make this short.
Rome
It was absolutely beautiful. I love it! I want to go back. I didn’t want to leave. Many people don’t get this: but for the first time in a very long time I felt alive. I felt like I was actually living. That’s why I think I liked it so much. I didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone. I could do whatever I wanted and not have to worry about what people thought or anyone judging me. It seems so simple, but sometimes it’s the hardest thing. I think it was so much easier when you are thousands (not hundreds) of miles away to do it. Therefore, I don’t regret anything. I am so happy I went on that trip and I hope to go on more. I’m thinking at least once a year out of the states.
Work
It’s been crazy! We sure do have a lot more work for a department that supposed be laying off people. So there is still that fear going around. I’m over it. I’ve already been applying for jobs - done some interviews. So now I’m doing the waiting game, while still applying for jobs. The good news: I got a raise - a significant one too! However, I have my suspicions about that, but that’s for another entry when I have more time.
Rome
It was absolutely beautiful. I love it! I want to go back. I didn’t want to leave. Many people don’t get this: but for the first time in a very long time I felt alive. I felt like I was actually living. That’s why I think I liked it so much. I didn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone. I could do whatever I wanted and not have to worry about what people thought or anyone judging me. It seems so simple, but sometimes it’s the hardest thing. I think it was so much easier when you are thousands (not hundreds) of miles away to do it. Therefore, I don’t regret anything. I am so happy I went on that trip and I hope to go on more. I’m thinking at least once a year out of the states.
Work
It’s been crazy! We sure do have a lot more work for a department that supposed be laying off people. So there is still that fear going around. I’m over it. I’ve already been applying for jobs - done some interviews. So now I’m doing the waiting game, while still applying for jobs. The good news: I got a raise - a significant one too! However, I have my suspicions about that, but that’s for another entry when I have more time.
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