Do you ever feel like sometimes there’s just too much noise?
I’m not just talking about the sounds of vehicles, children or video games. I’m talking about noise. Even the noises in your head. (I’m not going crazy, I promise.) Sometimes there are just so many thoughts going through my head - from the daily things I have to do to the decisions I must make.
I have had such a hard time blocking out all the noise. Sometimes it so much that I can’t even hear myself.
Now I’m finding that there are these rare instances in my life where I’m able to block out the noise. (It all started a couple of months ago.) I don’t think about anything else but the present - the here and now. It makes things so easy.
Life really isn’t hard. Just live for now. I keep saying this over and over again, but I haven’t been this happy in a very long time.
6.10.2008
6.08.2008
handicap perks...
I am so bored. I’m so ready to go back to work. The highlight of my week was riding the cart in my favorite grocery store, Central Market. I figured since I’m handicapped I should take full advantage of it. I already begged my doctor to give me a note or something so I could get a handicap sticker, but he said I wouldn’t qualify.
But riding the cart wasn't bad at all. It was nice being able to breeze down the aisles faster. People just kind of move out your way. I did get looks though. All the kids kind of kept looking at me. But I’m just going to chalk that up to beauty. Or maybe they just wish they could have driven the cart, hehe. The only bad part is having to reach for the items on the top shelf or out of reach. But did I get first-class service at the check out line. The cashier at the 1 through 10 item line let me checked me out immediately (even though I had about 20 items).
She said, “Don’t get up. I’ll get everything. You just rest.”
It was great. She put everything back in the cart’s basket and told me I could use the cart in the parking lot. I was having a good time, until my cart ran out of battery in the middle of the street. Thank goodness no cars were coming, or I would have been road kill. I had to get out and push the cart to the side. Being handicap is so hard…
But riding the cart wasn't bad at all. It was nice being able to breeze down the aisles faster. People just kind of move out your way. I did get looks though. All the kids kind of kept looking at me. But I’m just going to chalk that up to beauty. Or maybe they just wish they could have driven the cart, hehe. The only bad part is having to reach for the items on the top shelf or out of reach. But did I get first-class service at the check out line. The cashier at the 1 through 10 item line let me checked me out immediately (even though I had about 20 items).
She said, “Don’t get up. I’ll get everything. You just rest.”
It was great. She put everything back in the cart’s basket and told me I could use the cart in the parking lot. I was having a good time, until my cart ran out of battery in the middle of the street. Thank goodness no cars were coming, or I would have been road kill. I had to get out and push the cart to the side. Being handicap is so hard…
6.06.2008
on the wrong foot...
Just when I thought doc/nurse and I were getting off on the right foot (pun intended), boy was I wrong. I’m so mad. I went to the doctor for my follow-up appointment today. The doctor wanted to take a look at the foot and make sure everything was okay. He did and everything is fine. I even got good news. Doc said he didn’t have to cut nearly as much as he thought he would have to therefore, I should heal a lot faster. So he’s hoping to get me out of the boot and into a tennis shoe in four weeks, instead of the five he initially estimated before the surgery. That was the good news.
From there on, the entire appointment went downhill. First off, I’d like say, I know I’m not an easy person to please, especially when I spend hundreds of dollars on something. I feel like I am doing you a service my giving you my money, specifically $574 of my money. So you better do a damn good job.
The day after the surgery I noticed my third toe wasn’t hurting. It should have been because they were supposed to take the knuckle out of the toe since it rubs up against my shoes. It was one of those minor things that the doctor suggested I go ahead do while they were doing the bunionectomy. It’s not necessary.
So imagine the way I reacted when Doc basically told me he forgot to operate on the third toe. Then he tried to blame it on me. Doc said he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to operate on that toe. When he came into the operating room that morning, he talked about the big toe and I said ok. Since I didn’t say anything about the third toe, he didn’t do anything once in the operating room. Doc also said, “and it wasn’t on the paperwork. And if it’s not on the paperwork, I can’t do it.”
That’s where he is wrong. It was on the paperwork. I brought the freaking paperwork to the surgery center that morning. It was on there. I also didn’t like the fact that he tried to put it on me. I'm so mad.
Then he tried to mitigate it by saying, well I can give you a local anesthesia and do it in the office real quick. Hell no, I don’t want to do it in the office while I'm awake. I wanted you to do it all at once while I was under the first fucking time. I don’t want to be in pain a second time. Grrr…I was pissed.
Then I asked the nurse if I could have a smaller boot, because the one they gave me at the surgery center was way too big. I had already tripped over my foot twice in it. She gave me one that fit perfectly to me but she said it was too small and I may hit my big toe on it. It’s better than me tripping over my own foot and falling over. Now that’s going to hurt! They cut me at the top of my foot, not on my toe. Hell, I tripped on the way to the X-ray room at the doctor’s office. I was fuming by the time I left the office. Shit, I’m still mad.
My mom and dad recommended this doctor. In fact, he did foot surgery on my mom last year and it turned out really well - no problems. But of course, with my luck something always gets screwed up. I think I’m going to find a new doctor.
From there on, the entire appointment went downhill. First off, I’d like say, I know I’m not an easy person to please, especially when I spend hundreds of dollars on something. I feel like I am doing you a service my giving you my money, specifically $574 of my money. So you better do a damn good job.
The day after the surgery I noticed my third toe wasn’t hurting. It should have been because they were supposed to take the knuckle out of the toe since it rubs up against my shoes. It was one of those minor things that the doctor suggested I go ahead do while they were doing the bunionectomy. It’s not necessary.
So imagine the way I reacted when Doc basically told me he forgot to operate on the third toe. Then he tried to blame it on me. Doc said he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to operate on that toe. When he came into the operating room that morning, he talked about the big toe and I said ok. Since I didn’t say anything about the third toe, he didn’t do anything once in the operating room. Doc also said, “and it wasn’t on the paperwork. And if it’s not on the paperwork, I can’t do it.”
That’s where he is wrong. It was on the paperwork. I brought the freaking paperwork to the surgery center that morning. It was on there. I also didn’t like the fact that he tried to put it on me. I'm so mad.
Then he tried to mitigate it by saying, well I can give you a local anesthesia and do it in the office real quick. Hell no, I don’t want to do it in the office while I'm awake. I wanted you to do it all at once while I was under the first fucking time. I don’t want to be in pain a second time. Grrr…I was pissed.
Then I asked the nurse if I could have a smaller boot, because the one they gave me at the surgery center was way too big. I had already tripped over my foot twice in it. She gave me one that fit perfectly to me but she said it was too small and I may hit my big toe on it. It’s better than me tripping over my own foot and falling over. Now that’s going to hurt! They cut me at the top of my foot, not on my toe. Hell, I tripped on the way to the X-ray room at the doctor’s office. I was fuming by the time I left the office. Shit, I’m still mad.
My mom and dad recommended this doctor. In fact, he did foot surgery on my mom last year and it turned out really well - no problems. But of course, with my luck something always gets screwed up. I think I’m going to find a new doctor.
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